Yesterday I was visiting with my sister over the phone. For those of you that don’t know, she lives about 1500 miles away, has 2 small children, is a Thirty-One Consultant and a very active military wife. Needless to say, she’s as busy (or busier) than I am. We were discussing goals and she floated past me a fairly lofty goal. I was so proud of myself that I immediately responded, “No thanks, I’m currently in a phase of lowering the bar on my own expectations!” She countered with a laugh, “yeah, right! Me too!”
But seriously, I’ve spent a lot of time lately focusing where I say “yes”. I once heard If you can’t say no, your yes has no power. Stop and think about that. Your yes has no power. Your YES has no POWER. If something has no power, how can it be important? If it’s not important, why would anyone (or you) care about it? So, in essence, my inability to say no was robbing myself of one of the most powerful gifts I have! What?
Here’s a confession: I LOVE Pinterest. Love. It. But honestly, I see it as a downfall to an already overly self-pressured generation of women. I’m not speaking with a feminist voice and I definitely feel men (as a collective gender) have traveled light-years in terms of involved parenting and spousal equality. In fact, most men I know – including my own Prince Charming- often are just as active in soccer Saturday and school functions as us moms. But I don’t see them accepting self-induced pressure to make sure the birthday party is perfect or the teacher gifts look like something Martha Stewart created or the kids look like they stepped out of a Gap Kids store. So why do the ladies feel the need to be “perfect”? Why aren’t we content with how we are made? I’m not saying we should selfishly roll-over and give only 50% or not strive for excellence. I think we could be much kinder to ourselves, though, on our own expectations – simply lowering the bar. Afterall, I don’t think I could be talked out of my homemade birthday cakes and homemade Halloween costumes! I’ll admit I get a little shot of gratification each time a friend lovingly shakes her head and says, “I don’t know how you do it all”. But if it’s all at the cost of losing my Power to say YES, I think it’s time to exit the SuperMom highway. I’m now keeping track of the number of “no”s and my “yes”s still far outweigh my “no”s, but I’m trying. And like everything chronicled here, one step forward is the best I can do today. And that’s wonderfully, perfectly okay!